Category: Grief

Evidence of Our Father's Tender Mercies

7/3/2016

Coming forth from our pain will emerge a deeper trust in God. . . a beauty we can not even imagine. Even though we can't see Him or at times even understand what we're going through, we can always look around us and see His beautiful handiwork. His creation speaks and gives confirmation that He sees us, knows our hearts, and is aware of our pain.

"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes,
His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse."
Romans 1:20

No matter where we are or how we feel, He is there. We are never out of the tender reach of His hand. It brings comfort to me knowing I'm never out of His reach and always on His mind and in His heart. As His child, I can never be removed from His strength, support, and the comfort of His presence. Thank You, Father, for Your tender mercies. They are new every morning.

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Finding Hope Along the Journey Called Life

5/11/2016

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Every moment is a unique place we’ve never been. The familiar becomes the unfamiliar. Trusting our unchanging God when we’re traveling uncharted territory is vital to finding hope. Sorrow, suffering, brokenness, are all an inevitable part of our journey. We could not know love without loss and sorrow, joy without suffering, and peace (wholeness) without brokenness.

When you're trying to find your way through the messy road of hurt, cling to what you know is true—-we have an unchanging God. That doesn’t mean the road of hurt to healing and hope is going to be easy; it will more than likely be a messy journey full of detours. And your journey is not going to be like someone else’s—-it’s a personal journey with a personal, loving God traveling the road with you. I wish there were five easy steps to no longer feel your pain, but there’s no such thing. What you do have are cross-shaped blazes marking the way to finding hope, reminding you of the truths found in God’s Word. Christ is your hope of glory, your hope for healing and peace. Based upon the truths found in God’s GPS system (His Word), I can promise you, you will get through this. He is with you because He doesn't leave you to walk this journey alone.

Grief tempts us to walk alone because it’s raw and messy and we don’t want to be seen as weak. Fight against that temptation to walk the trail alone. Walk knowing He is with you and ask Him to bring godly friends to walk beside you on this path to healing. They will be “Jesus with skin on’ as you journey through the messy paths of life.

“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; f
or why does one also hope for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance, we wait eagerly for it.”
Romans 8:24,25

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When Mother's Day is Hard

5/4/2016

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Mother's Day is extremely difficult for many of us. The pain in our hearts seems to be magnified on days that the world tells us we're to be happy and celebratory.

For the rest of this devotional click here to read on Marsha's Musings. It's an updated version of last year's post. I'm also over at the team devotional blog, Laced With Grace with the same devotional.

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When You Walk Away With Empty Arms

2/9/2016

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Babies aren’t supposed to die. They’re supposed to be born, grow up, and die when they’re old and gray adults. But we live in a fallen world and sometimes the fallout lands on us.

Lucie would be 5 years old today had she lived. It's hard to believe that much time has passed, and yet in some ways, it feels like yesterday.

Her then 16-year-old Mom was one of my clients. We knew early on Lucie would die shortly after being born, so we had time to prepare. . . if you can ever prepare for holding life and death in your hands within minutes of each other. Together we clung to God’s rope of hope and experienced the presence of God in the midst of great sorrow and suffering. It was a presence that empowered the young Mom, “T”, to survive the scars and planted seeds of hope that eventually blossomed. Today she is a thriving young woman in her junior year of college with dreams of going into the medical field.

"T" called me this morning, as she has every February 9th. We spent a few minutes catching up with each other, but mostly, we shared tears yet again. Five years ago our tears intermingled on the most heartbreaking day of her life; the day baby Lucie breathed her first and last breaths. The following day she walked away from the hospital with empty arms and a broken heart. Today, her aching arms are still empty, but her broken heart is mending, knowing God is using this in her life; and knowing one day she will see Lucie again in heaven--strong, healed, and whole.

Tears are a strange sort of gift God uses as a conduit to fill the broken hearted with His other gifts.

The rest of this post is from my journal dated February 9, 2011. May it bring someone with empty arms a gentle hug filled with comfort and hope.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

"In some ways life has flown by this week, and yet in other ways, life stood still. It’s been a week of savoring both the sacredness and the sorrows of life. I’ve seen grace abound, yet I’ve also pleaded for more in the dark hours of grief, fumbling to make sense of how life and death come from the same Hand at nearly the same moment.

I’ve witnessed first hand an umbilical cord cut, ushering in new life; only to watch that life silently pass. Like a butterfly’s dance in the wind, so has life been this week; a thing of beauty and grace, fluttering about and then suddenly it is no more.

The grace of God has trained us for this moment. Forced to feel the burn of pain in order to benefit from the fruit of His grace both now and later. We knew life and death would come partnered together.

But it’s hard.

It’s hard to listen to a mother’s sweet voice singing tender lullabies to her child and minutes later hear the guttural tones of a mother’s heart being ripped from her chest.

I sat helpless by her side holding them both in my arms. Were the bitter tears I tasted my own or hers? I could not tell for they were mingled together.

“God, shower your grace upon us! Help us see You through this pelting storm!” My heart cried silently – I think. Maybe I whispered it aloud. Maybe that’s why I tasted the salty, bitter tears.

I may have been the teacher, the mentor, the life coach through all of this, but He has taught me life lessons as well. Lessons I need to write down as reminders of these gifts He’s given me this week, gifts cloaked in sadness and pain as well as some with great joy."

Processing Life's Gifts
(More from my journal entry from February 9, 2011)

"When I look only for blessings through the conduit of happy times and prayers answered ‘my way’ as an assurance of His love, I’m limiting my experience of God. All things come to me through His hand. Dare I only select the tastiest seeds to dine on and ignore the seeds that don’t taste as sweet? Are they not both meant for my good?

His gift to me is the full vocabulary of life’s poetry and sometimes there are words and stanzas of sorrow and grief.

As I listened to this young mother’s songs of lullabies and laments, I’ve realized His gift is all the music, even the discordant phrases and movements that are sometimes difficult and tragic. There is beauty to behold in His singing over me.

I can be as enthralled by life and it’s stony and sometimes thorny paths as I can be with its sunshine and flowers.

The full measure of life’s gifts include brokenness and trials, the kinds that transform me for His glory.

Those hard things that surround me can not destroy or harm me. Sometimes that hard place is actually God Himself standing up against that which seeks to destroy my faith. He’s my rock, my refuge, my fortress, a sheltering strong tower.

More than having life my way, He is what I want.

He is Life’s Gift."

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When Life Freezes You Dead in Your Tracks

1/8/2016

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St. Joseph Lighthouse on Lake Michigan. Taken January 6, 2014 encased in ice as the Midwest was hit with a "polar vortex", causing wind chills to reach -50 degrees. Thanks to KRNV News 4 for the photo.

Even the most steadfast beacons of hope can become paralyzed when hit by a polar vortex. There's just no way to prevent life's harshness from immobilizing us sometimes.

A constant barrage of cruel, demoralizing words. . . the feeling of being totally isolated and alone. . . catastrophic illness. . . the sudden loss of a loved one. . . just some of the polar vortexes that freeze us dead in our tracks, unable to move.

People may look at your frozen state and see things you are unable to see because you are entombed. They will see the intricate handiwork of God working in your life, supporting you, enabling you to stand in this storm. Their stares and comments may not appear to you as the help you were so desperately seeking. Sometimes there's just not anything anyone can tangibly do in that moment.

Take heart, dear one. You are standing on The Rock. This is not permanent, nor will you be forever destroyed. In His time, He will thaw the icy tomb that is encasing you at this moment. You will come through this polar vortex and shine once again, giving glory to God for all He has done.

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A December Kind of Grief

12/10/2015

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I'm feeling heavy-hearted today. Many I know are hurting with broken hearts, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I’m thinking about all the expectations that come with what's supposed to be a 'happy' holiday while their hearts are laid open, raw and exposed; the stream of salty tears continues to sting the wounded heart--feeling like everything is imploding around them.

The raw reality is this--life is hard at times. We can't change those hard times just because the calendar says we should be happy right now. But this one thing I know, God is with us - His name is Emmanuel. It’s the Name I whisper in the ear of each one I pray for. It’s the Name that tells us we’re not alone in our brokenness. It’s the Name that wraps us in comfort, the Name we can cling to when life’s sorrows are too raw to put up a tree or go through the motions of all the trappings of this season.

When life is whirling around us and it just doesn't seem to make sense, when it's broken and our hearts are exposed raw to the elements, all the "Happy Holiday" greetings only make the heart hurt worse. Through the eyes of the broken hearted, life for everyone else goes on as “normal,” and that can be a bitter cup to swallow.

The hurting and broken-hearted realize, often much sooner than most, that all the trappings that engulf Christmas aren’t the true meaning of Christmas and won’t heal wounded hearts. The true meaning is Jesus and His humble coming to be with us--Emmanuel, God is with us. He came to ransom, redeem and deliver us. He alone can turn darkness into light because He is the Light of the world (John 8:12). He alone turns condemnation into acceptance, and death into life. He alone brings hope, healing, love, peace, and even joy - not happiness - true joy. The joy of knowing the nearness of God is our good (Psalm 73:28). The joy of knowing He understands brokenness, separation, and grief. Joy isn’t, "Yippee! I feel great!" Joy comes as a fruit of the Spirt. Joy is rooted in grace. Joy is being aware of His grace in our lives (God is with us).

This. . .this. . .is the message beating in my heart this season. If you've never experienced it, a December kind of grief is a magnified grief. Our grieving friends and family need our prayers. More than our words of advice, they need "Some One" to touch the wounds of their heart. Pray, hold their hand, give warm hugs that say, "I love you. I care. I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm here for you." It's important to speak the loved ones name, to talk about him/her; share memories, let them know you haven't forgotten their loved one.

To all my precious hurting friends and loved ones, don’t worry with holding to the traditions of the past. Don’t rely on drugs or alcohol to heal your wounded heart, or to “get through the holidays.” There’s only One that can bring healing, His Name is Emmanuel, God is with us. He can do more than just “get you through the holidays.” This year, just be held.

Struggling with praying? Maybe this will capture the prayer of your heart during this December kind of grief.

"God, I’m not asking for miracles throughout this season. I’m asking to recognize Your movements in my life. I’m asking to catch Your whispers. I’m asking to sense Your presence in what I think are my darkest moments, when I think I can’t go on. God, I’m asking for moments when I can see Your grace as clearly as footprints in a fresh-fallen snow or wet sand along a beach. God, I’m asking that You be with my family and friends and somehow see us through."

Smith, Harold Ivan (2011-01-04). A Decembered Grief: Living with Loss While Others are Celebrating (Kindle Locations 124-127). Beacon Hill Press. Kindle Edition.

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For Those Who Are Hurting on Mother's Day

5/10/2015

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Mother's Day is extremely difficult for many of us. The pain in our hearts seems to be magnified on days that the world tells us we're to be happy and celebratory.

You may be missing your own mother terribly. On days like Mother's Day, the longing to hear her voice, give her a hug and tell her "I love you" linger in your thoughts. To be honest, she lingers in your thoughts everyday.

Maybe your Mother is still living but you are estranged. She wounded you deeply as a child and you find it difficult to find an appropriate card for her or to show her honor. I understand how you feel, only for me, it was a difficult relationship with my abusive father and Father's Day was always difficult.

Some of you have had to go through a Mother's worst nightmare, you've buried your child and a piece of your heart has been ripped from your chest. My heart hurts for you. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I pray those close to you will share a memory of your child with you today.

The world elevates and celebrates Motherhood, and there you are, so wanting to be a Mommy but you are unable to conceive, your heart aches and your arms yearn to hold a child of your own.

I know your heart aches and hurts deeply. You're brokenhearted and may be feeling as though it can never be mended again. Let me encourage you to rest completely in Him. Give Him your heart ache. And don't be afraid to ask Him why this has happened to you; just remember to ask with open hands and not clinched fists.

I don't know the answer to your why question, but I know the Who, and He loves you and wants to walk with you through this pain.

Dr. Joe Stowell said in his book, The Upside of Down: Finding Hope When It Hurts, "If we are to find hope and help when it hurts, we must begin with the Who of it all. We must hope in the certainty of what is true about God. If we choose not to cultivate our hope in Him, where will we place our hope? Is there anything greater, more just, more equitable, more powerful, more reliable, and truer than God?"

When waves of grief swell to unimaginable heights, then crash and pin you to the floor, it’s hard to imagine ever being able to stand and breathe again. You may feel as though you will never stop crying, never stop grieving, but this I know. . . God is faithful. He will not leave you to walk through this dark place alone. Over time–and it’s different for everyone–the swelling waves will lessen in intensity and frequency. Rest assured that based upon the promises of God, I know you will get through this by the grace of God.

“You’ll get through this. It won’t be painless. It won’t be quick. But God will use this mess for good. In the meantime don’t be foolish or naïve. But don’t despair either. With God’s help you will get through this.”
― Max Lucado, You’ll Get Through This: Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times

You will breathe again and find yourself standing in the middle of the intersection known as Joy and Sorrow. That place where you are able to rest in the steady flow of Hope, the healing salve that heals the wound and enables you to remember and mourn your loved one with a mix of joy and sorrow.

For the one who has lost a mother,
For the mother who has lost a child,
For the one who longs to be a mom…
You are not forgotten this Mother’s Day.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

How may I pray for you today? Please send me a message by clicking on this link. I'd be honored to pray with and for you as you walk through this valley.

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Hope Amidst the Rubble

5/3/2015

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Two and a half year old sister protected by four year old brother in Nepal. Perhaps one of the most divine picture of the century !!!!
Posted by Vishal Jaju on Thursday, April 30, 2015

Heart Wrenching Rubble....

We've watched as shockwaves of devastation continue to shake the world.... Nepal and Baltimore are the epicenter of conversation. Pictures of both are heart and gut wrenching evoking tears, fears, anger, frustration. And then there's images of hope - babies pulled from the rubble, a little brother sheltering his baby sister, a lone black child giving out water bottles to riot weary police.

Spiritual Defibrillation

We see images, our hearts race. The media frenzy dies and our hearts stop beating with hope and compassion.... a life-threatening dysrthymia of the heart... we shut down, our heart stops beating with compassion for the lost, the downtrodden, the hurting, those treated unjustly. We stop looking around us and seeing the hopeless and hurting around us because we feel there's nothing we can do, or it's not my rubble so I don't need to deal with it. When our hearts stop beating and we have a flat line pulse, that's when we need spiritual defibrillation so our hearts will beat again with hope and compassion.

But what if you're the one whose life is laying in ruins leaving you with a heart that's skipping beats and racing out of rhythm? He wants to restart your heart, too. Stay with me... hopefully He will breathe Hope into you.

If God is good, why do people have to suffer ?

Theologians have discussed this question for years. And this side of eternity I don't know we'll ever know the complete answer. But from what I read in Scripture and from things I've gone through in my life, I keep coming back to God allows these things to happen so we will seek Him. We read about it in Paul's sermon on Mars Hill in Acts 17:24-27. He's appointed our times and boundaries so we would seek Him.

Are you hurting? Feeling hopelessly lost in the rubble of life?
There's Hope.

My heart hurts for the hurting, but I can't even begin to fathom the pain and despair you are feeling. But this I know, whatever your earthquake may be, this is true of God:

He is Faithful.
He is Good.
He is Just.
He is the Giver of Hope.
He loves you.

Don't see signs of life? Feeling hopeless?
Wait for it.
Long for it.
There is Hope for the hopeless.
Our Deliverer is coming.

Hear His words of Hope for you today.

I understand, My child, when you are uncertain about My will,
when you cry out in the lonely moments of your despair for the life of a loved one,
for physical healing, healing of relationships that have gone awry like sprung coils;
cries in the midst of a storm; Dear one, do not lose heart, do not lose hope.

I Am Hope.
I give you more than future glory, I am your present glory.
I do hear you;
I do answer you.

My ears are not closed to your requests and your fervent prayers,
but you must have hope. Trust Me!
I know your heart, I hear you,
but My will cannot be flopped like a fish on the sand.
I cannot change because you fast, or plead,
or because you insist you know more than I.

Allow My written Word, which throbs with the Power of Hope,
to enter your mind and body like fresh blood in your veins,
new life in your thoughts.

Your hope of glory is in My Son,
the One who intercedes for you daily.
He ransomed and redeemed you,
and provided the hope of eternal life that I promised ages ago (and I cannot lie)?

And how will your soul relax in the trials of life
if you do not perceive in the far reaches of your mind
that I give you more than miracles?

When you have My mind, My wisdom, My knowledge, My understanding,
you will not panic at the threat of death.
Instead, you will march through it
as if it were only a valley, because I am with you.
Do not be afraid, My child.
Caress the sister of love, which is your gift of hope,
and bravely come through the darkness.

(These words were compiled from meditating on the following passages: Romans 15:4; Colossians 1:27; John 14:2,6; Romans 8:34; Colossians 1:5,23; Romans 5:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:8; Titus 1:2; Psalm 23:4)

How may I pray for you? Please send me a message through the Contact page.

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Hope for a Life Scarred by Fridays

4/3/2015

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The belt came through the last loop with a loud whip-like crack. First it pounded the sidewalk like a warning. Then as his angry words were being lashed out, the belt came across the back of my legs.

I tried to out run my Dad's thundering wrath, but my 9 year old legs just weren't fast enough. The chase continued down the street, the belt pelting my back, my arms, my legs. I had been to the playground and lost track of time. He came in a rage and chased me down the long concrete sidewalk.

Cars drove by, people watched from their front porches,they heard my cries for help, but no one intervened. I was being publicly beaten, publicly humiliated, publicly rejected, publicly abused physically and verbally and not one person cared to stop the violence against me. Not even when the belt wrapped around my ankle causing me to fall. They heard my cry, but no one cared. Even as he grabbed me by the arm to pull me back up to my feet, ripping the sleeve of my blouse, no one came to save me from the ravages of an out of control man.

I felt ashamed, defiled, naked, vulnerable, abandoned. I felt like a failure and a sinful person because no one cared enough to come to my rescue, to save me. I must have deserved his wrath.

A Life Scarred by Fridays

Years later when I heard the story of the crucifixion, I thought to myself, "He understands humiliation. He understands being whipped and brutalized publicly. He understands having clothing ripped and being knocked to the ground. He understands the rejection, shame and abuse I felt." I could identify with the horrors of His Friday. He knew I'd lived a life scarred by Friday's.

It's Friday....but Sunday's a Comin'!

He showed me that I was not alone when I endured that "Friday" experience. He showed me that He gives us the strength to endure through the Fridays of our lives because of the hope that "Sunday's a Comin'."

This is a short yet POWERFUL video using a sermon clip by Rev. S. M. Lockridge - "It's Friday, but Sunday's a-comin'!"
Video by Igniter Media. Available through WorshipHouse Media dot com.

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The Hope of Spring

3/20/2015

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It's been a long cold Winter around most of the US. Even today, the first day of Spring, there is snow. For the people still living under the icy grip of Winter, it's hard to believe that Spring will ever replace the harsh realty of snow and slush.

The seasons of life can feel much the same way. Grief, illness, depression, can encase us in a winter-like grip that convinces us that newness of life is for everyone else, but not for us.
Take heart. Even the longest of Winters is momentary in light of eternity. Spring is coming.

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:17

Thank You, Lord, for the promise of Spring.

Daffodils
(Written in 1804)

I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

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<<Previous

Evidence of Our Father's Tender Mercies

"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes,
His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse."
Romans 1:20

Finding Hope Along the Journey Called Life

When Mother's Day is Hard

When You Walk Away With Empty Arms

Tears are a strange sort of gift God uses as a conduit to fill the broken hearted with His other gifts.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

Processing Life's Gifts
(More from my journal entry from February 9, 2011)

When Life Freezes You Dead in Your Tracks

A December Kind of Grief

Struggling with praying? Maybe this will capture the prayer of your heart during this December kind of grief.

For Those Who Are Hurting on Mother's Day

I don't know the answer to your why question, but I know the Who, and He loves you and wants to walk with you through this pain.

Hope Amidst the Rubble

Heart Wrenching Rubble....

Spiritual Defibrillation

If God is good, why do people have to suffer ?

Are you hurting? Feeling hopelessly lost in the rubble of life?
There's Hope.

Hear His words of Hope for you today.

Hope for a Life Scarred by Fridays

A Life Scarred by Fridays

It's Friday....but Sunday's a Comin'!

The Hope of Spring

Daffodils
(Written in 1804)

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"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

Tears are a strange sort of gift God uses as a conduit to fill the broken hearted with His other gifts.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

Processing Life's Gifts (​More from my journal entry from February 9, 2011)

Struggling with praying? Maybe this will capture the prayer of your heart during this December kind of grief.

I don't know the answer to your why question, but I know the Who, and He loves you and wants to walk with you through this pain.

Heart Wrenching Rubble....

Spiritual Defibrillation

If God is good, why do people have to suffer ?

Are you hurting? Feeling hopelessly lost in the rubble of life? There's Hope.

Hear His words of Hope for you today.

A Life Scarred by Fridays

It's Friday....but Sunday's a Comin'!

Daffodils (Written in 1804)

The Muser

Categories

Archives

Have each new post to this specific blog page emailed to you, or use your own RSS Feed Reader.

Please Respect the Muser's Work

"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes,
His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse."
Romans 1:20

Processing Life's Gifts
(More from my journal entry from February 9, 2011)

Are you hurting? Feeling hopelessly lost in the rubble of life?
There's Hope.

Daffodils
(Written in 1804)